I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you didnt know i had herpes?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Alive.
So much puke
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
