I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
