I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
