Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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