My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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