I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Success! We fucked roommates!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
