I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
