if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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