Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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