Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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