dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
