We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
