dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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