How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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