You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
