So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
