you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
