is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I can't put those talents on a resume
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
