Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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