the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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