I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
