is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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