apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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