I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
