Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
