I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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