Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
