I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize