The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
