The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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