you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
