i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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