We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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