just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
