Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
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