The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I don't think brook has ever known best
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My ass is underappreciated
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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