No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
