Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
