google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
