If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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