I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
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