Kiss
Puke
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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