I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
