Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
