i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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