pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
