I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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