yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
