I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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