she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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