Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
3 2 1 whiskey
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
