some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
